Raising a Family
by fleeceinabox
Summary: "Fang? Can we talk?" What could possibly be making the Maximum Ride nervous? "I...I want to have a baby, Fang." I can't help but break into a grin. "Did you think that I didn't? Max, there's nothing I want more than to raise a family with you." One-shot


**Hey, guys, I'm back with another one-shot. If you haven't yet, please check out my first, Well, Crap. I was blown away by the response I received on that, so thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited it because your feedback means the world to me :)**

**Also, I'd really appreciate it if you took the time to vote on my story poll, because I'm having trouble deciding which one to start writing first. So thanks and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Maximum Ride, Lissa and Bridget would not have existed and Fax would have happened about six books earlier.**

**WARNING: This one shot is a tad bit depressing, but it has a happy ending. There may be some triggers (including attempted suicide, depression, etc.) so please don't read this if you don't think you can handle it. Sorry for any tears in advance, because I cried while writing this :(**

FANG'S POV

"Fang?" I look away from the TV screen to my wife, Max, who's standing in the doorway of my 'man cave.'

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk?" Damn, this must be important if she used 'Can we talk?' instead of 'We're gonna talk.' I shut off the football game and turned my attention to her as she sat down next to me on the brown leather couch.

"What's up, hon?" I ask, taking her hands in mine. She still hasn't looked up at me since she sat down. What could possibly be making _the_ Maximum Ride nervous?

"I...I want to have a baby, Fang."

I can't help but break into a grin. Grabbing her chin, I make her look at me. "Did you think that I didn't?"

She smiled, too, except hers seemed to be of relief. "Really? You really want to?"

"Max, there's nothing I want more than to raise a family with you." I pull her into my lap, where she snuggles into my neck.

Sighing, she says, "I love you."

Instead of replying, I pull back and kiss her softly, but it gets heated quickly, and well, you know what happens next. I mean, the baby's gotta come from somewhere.

~line~

This was our fourth time standing in the bathroom together with a pregnancy stick thingy. It had better come out positive, because Max was starting to lose hope.

One minute to go.

"What if it comes out negative again?" she asked. I had never heard her voice sound so small.

"Then we'll just keep trying, Max. God has our baby and He won't give her up until we get pregnant. We owe it to her to bring her into this world, right?"

She laughs a little. "How do you know our baby's a girl?"

"A father just knows, babe."

Max laughs again, loudly, but stops when she looks at the clock.

"It's time, sweetie," I say.

"You look at it, Fang, I can't," she replies, burying her face in my shirt.

Oh, boy.

I turn the stick over and... "Max?"

"Yeah?"

"God's sending our baby girl."

~line~

"FANG!"

Oh, god, it's starting again. Ever since Max started experiencing pregnancy symptoms, namely nausea, food cravings and mood swings, I've been getting used to being at her beck and call.

"Yeah, hon? What do you need?"

She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. Now the last time this happened, she was crying because she just really wanted to eat peanut butter, so I get ready to run back to the kitchen.

"Will you please cuddle with me?" I smile. That may just be the simplest command Preggo Max has given me in the past five weeks.

"Hell, yeah!"

"DON'T CURSE IN FRONT OF MY BABY! No, get away, I don't want to cuddle with you anymore, go bring me some peanut butter."

Damn.

~line~

I awake as Max comes back from the bathroom and slips into bed. "Fang, I'm having cramps. And I'm spotting a bit."

I open my eyes a crack and look at her. "Sweetie, I'm sure you're fine, just go back to sleep."

I didn't hear her say anything back, so I figured she did what I asked, for the first time ever. But apparently, she was just having a moment of stupid decision making before jumping out of bed. "No, Fang, we need to go to Dr. Maria's office _right now_." I guess it was pretty stupid of me to think that Max Ride might actually listen to me for once.

"Babe, you're overreacting again, come back to bed."

"No, Fang!" She practically screamed, but then her voice softened and a tear rolled down her cheek. "What if there's something wrong with my baby?"

I sighed and swung my legs out of bed. "All right, why don't you go give Dr. Maria a call, and I'll get ready, okay?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes before grabbing her cellphone. "Hello? This is Max. When can you see us? I'm worried about our baby."

~line~

Max laid back in the patient's chair while I sat in the seat next to her, holding her hand. Dr. Maria was currently looking at the ultrasound machine, a hint of a frown on her face. I felt fear creep into my stomach. "Dr. Maria? Is everything okay?"

She clears her throat and looks at us. "Guys, I'm so sorry...there's no heartbeat. It looks like there hasn't been one for the past few days."

Time stops for a moment. None of us are moving, only listening to the sound of our own heartbeats, but I am unable to imagine that there are only three in the room. I look at Max, but it looked like she was frozen. I look back at Dr. Maria, pleading her with my eyes to tell me this is a joke.

She does no such thing and just reaches forward to grab Max's other hand. "Max? Are you there?"

Max nods slowly.

My cheeks are wet, but Max still hasn't reacted to the news at all. I'm starting to worry she's in shock. "Max? Sweetie, talk to me."

She just shakes her head.

~line~

We spend the rest of the day just laying in bed, crying. Well, I'm crying, but Max just lays there with a blank expression on her face, like she has no feeling at all. In fact, at the doctor's office, she continued to converse with Dr. Maria about the miscarriage and getting the "fetus" out, and about insurance and all this medical talk, as if our baby didn't just _die_. I would've exploded at her a while ago, except Dr. Maria pulled me aside later and explained that she was just in shock and the medical language kept the reality of it away for a while. She just wasn't ready to handle the emotion yet, and that was fine, said Dr. Maria. On the way out, she handed me a pamphlet and a business card for a therapist.

We eventually fall asleep, but I wake up in the middle of the night to a wail. Then I realize it's coming from my wife.

"No!" she wailed again. "No..." Her sobs rack her whole body and I find myself crying, too. I pull her to my chest, and we stay like that for forever, it seems, crying for our unborn baby girl.

~line~

It's been three weeks since we found out, and two weeks since Kylee Abigail Ride was miscarried naturally. There hasn't been a single day or night that I haven't shed a tear for her, but more importantly, there hasn't been a single day or night that Max has left her bed, not for food, water or even the bathroom.

Our families and friends have been very supportive. Max's mom and my best friend Iggy cook us food, our sisters Ella and Nudge keep Max company while I'm at work (I had to go eventually) and everyone, especially Iggy's younger siblings Gazzy and Angel, work real hard to cheer Max up, but the best we've gotten from her is a tight-lipped fake smile.

Today has been an especially painful day, as I didn't have any meetings or otherwise to keep my mind off of Kylee. I open my front door and am greeted with a chorus of hellos from Dr. M, Ella, Iggy, Gazzy and Angel. "Hey," I say back, trying to sound upbeat. "How is she?"

Dr. M gave me a sad smile. "The only thing she's said to me all day is 'I'm not hungry.' She's taking a nap right now."

I nod in thanks and head up the stairs to our bedroom. There, I see something I haven't seen in a while: an empty bed. I smile to myself. She finally got out of bed. "Max?" I call out, trying to keep the excitement out of my voice.

When I don't hear a reply, I head out into the hallway, and try the bathroom. The door isn't locked,not even closed, but slightly ajar. I push it open and what I see makes my heart stop.

Max stands in front of the sink, pills in her hand, and a glass of water in the other. "MAXIMUM RIDE, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

She looks up at the mirror to meet my eyes, seemingly unfazed. "Why are you screaming? Calm down, they're just vitamins."

I see red. I storm over to her and grab the pills and throw them in the toilet, getting an indignant "Hey!" from her. "I am not an idiot, Maximum. You're depressed. You don't eat or sleep, you cry all the time, and you even go to the bathroom in bed. You have no reaction to anything whatsoever, and you haven't gotten out of bed since you delivered Kylee. _Th__ose_ were obviously sleeping pills," I yell, shaking in anger. "And there's also the fact that you have only ever liked those chewy animal shaped vitamins, so don't fucking lie to me and tell me that you weren't just going to throw your life away right now."

She stays silent for a minute. Then she throws herself into my arms, letting out a wail, yelling "It's not fair" over and over again, and so I let myself sink down to the ground and cry with her. "I can't do this, Fang, I can't live knowing that I'm not with my baby girl...Fang, please, I just want her back, I want to be with her."

My heart clenches at those words. "Max...don't you think I want her back, too? Don't you think I want to be with her? But, Max, you have to understand, we'll be with her when the time comes. But we still have the rest of our lives ahead of us. We can't just leave everyone who loves and cares about us here. _You_ can't just leave _me_ here."

There's no reply, except sobbing.

~line~

MAX'S POV

It's been almost a year since I went to Fang saying that I wanted a baby. Like he told me that night on the bathroom floor, we still had the rest of our lives ahead of us. And we moved on with it, too. Fang and I eventually got back into the world, going to work, eating out and even attending parties and celebrations. Not baby showers, though. We rejected any invitation to a baby shower.

Fang enrolled us in couples therapy, and got a personal therapist for just me after my suicide attempt. It definitely helped a lot, and I really do feel stronger everyday, but Fang says that I don't have the same zest for life as I did before Kylee. Not that he's ever said that to my face. No, I overheard him say it to Iggy just a couple days ago.

Tonight was the night that Fang and I were going to try sex again, for the first time since we found out about Kylee. Using protection, of course. Neither of us are ready to go through a pregnancy again.

I am currently sitting on the sofa, watching _Full House, _while waiting for Fang to get home from work. He said he was working late tonight for some reason, but he wouldn't be too late.

The doorbell rings and I get up quickly to go answer it. It's not Fang; he would have used his key. Opening the door, I'm surprised to see that it is him. "Hey-"

He puts up his hand to stop me. "Look, I know we agreed that tonight was gonna be the night that we tried it again, but I'm gonna have to take a raincheck on that, because I picked up a guest on the way home."

I frown. "Um...who?" There didn't seem to be anyone behind him.

He grins widely and steps aside, and a black Scottish Terrier comes running at me and starts jumping at my feet. I look up at Fang in shock. "He's no Kylee," he says, clearing his throat. We still get choked up when we say her name. "But I thought he might fill the hole in our hearts until we're ready to try for a baby again. His name's Total."

I look down at Total again and back up at Fang, who has a nervous smile on his face. I break out laughing and leap at him, peppering his face with kisses, leaving one last long kiss on his lips. I pull back to see a smile of relief on his face. "I love him, Fang. Thank you."

He grins at me, a weird look in his eyes. I laugh and ask, "What? What're you looking at?"

He just shakes his head, still smiling. "Nothing. Come on, let's go give Total a tour."

**So that's it. Yeah, I know it was kinda depressing, but the ending was happier, right? Just so you know, I don't know much about miscarriages or things like that that, so I'm not sure if I wrote it all correctly or if the information is right, so sorry for any mistakes!**

**So please review and gimme some feedback on what you liked and what I can make better, and don't forget to vote on my story poll! Thank you!**


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